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The Silent Struggle

This post is about a silent struggle many people face - depression!

It is a common mental disorder that causes people to have depressed moods, loss of interest, feelings of guilt, low self-worth and much more. Having suffered with it myself before, I know all to well what it can feel like.

It was in 2009, aged 18, that I started to feel sad and nothing seemed to make me happy, I just put it down to a low mood and thought it would pass. After a while I started to feel very uncomfortable in my own skin in different circumstances, I would prefer to stay at home than go out and see friends and I just shut myself away.

I remember very clearly the day it hit me that there was something very wrong. I was in the changing room getting ready to go out sailing and while standing there in full thermals, trousers, jumpers and full water proofs I had a huge feeling of wanting to hide away. I wanted to curl up and disappear, not see anyone and not be there. I knew this was nothing to with self-confidence in my appearance because I was fully covered and about to go sailing.

At this point depression had just taken the sport I loved away from me! Soon after it also affected my job and the job I went onto have after. I moved away from home and found that every time I would go back to Cardiff the uncomfortable feel would quickly come over me.

Still to this day I notice it coming back sometimes but I feel very lucky to have a loving family around me and that I know I do. They personally do not know my struggle that I face from time to time, because I find it difficult to speak about it. On the outside I just appear like I am in a bad mood, or that I am uninterested in things going on around me.

Now I am not here to talk about me, this was to show that I myself have been through this and so can relate to others. Also a way for me to get it out there, for anyone reading this.

This illness needs more attention, we need to talk about it and the people suffering need to know that we are here for them.

I was prompt to write this after reading a beautiful post about a guy who has just lost his brother. The way he describes everything, how he thinks people who are suffering should find someone to talk to and that would lead to it being less of a social stigma.

If you would like to read then head over to


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